I’d love to now, but Lord…
you know it sure does take a lot

Oct 2, 2019.

Today, on my way home from work, I got down at my Metro station and an old lady approaches me.

“Young man, could you help me carry these bags”

The bags looked heavy for her. I couldn’t help but think that she could be handing me something delicate law-wise, that’s being too paranoid, I know, but it wouldn’t be the first time here that someone gets handed a box or a bag trying to help someone else and they end up in jail.

But I wanted to feel good about myself, because most of the time that’s the reason we help others. Egos gotta be fed.

The old lady and I are on our way out of the station, I’m carrying the bags, and she says:

“Young man, let me give you an advice”

I nod politely and pay attention to what she’s going to share with me.

“You that are so young should follow the path of the Lord, because… because God is the only…”

Interrupt her. “I’m sorry, I can only help you this far. You’ll need to find someone else. Have a good day.”

What moves people to do that? To actively give advice to strangers. The thing about unsolicited advice is that it is, at least, condescending. Who gives the advisor the right to comment on a stranger’s choice? Isn’t the advisor also giving an insult by assuming they can add value to someone else’s life?

Left all alone, I’m with
The one I most fear

As we prepare to go back to normal after 2 months of forced isolation, people begin to share lessons learned during this time of fear and reflection. For us, the privileged, perhaps the biggest challenge was to cope with solitude, to face one’s thoughts. When the whole world stops, it’s like Adrian Borland says in the song, you really can’t escape yourself. And it’s not comfortable being only in the company of your own thoughts.

Having too much time for introspection didn’t teach me a lot, so not many lessons for a post-pandemic world will be coming from me, sorry. But I realized one thing: I could cease to exist and not a single life would be extremely affected by it. Yes, some people would miss me, some people would cry but there would be no big disruption in anybody’s life but mine.

At first I felt minuscule, irrelevant, unneeded and forgotten, in a feeling: lonely. That realization of loneliness hurt my ego. But I’ve come to understand that expecting something different is to be both delusional and undeservedly entitled. In most cases loneliness is a product of one’s actions. Living in a constant state of self-isolation, involuntary or not, leads to a life deprived of th joy of cultivating friendships.

View Notes

One of my favorite songs by King Gizzard & the Lizard Wizard out of their LP Float Along - Fill Your Lungs. Probably my most played song in the last week or so.

#NowPlaying: Let Me Mend the Past by King Gizzard & The Lizard Wizard

After spending my afternoon playing Ping Pong with friends, this is all the music I can think of right now.

#NowPlaying: Ping Pong Over the Abyss by The 77’s